Silent screams....

Disclaimer: It is just a part of the writers imagination and bears no resemblance to her personal life and therefore no personal comments will be entertained.

Monday turns to Tuesday and then into Saturday but your visage that still looms over has left me in a state beyond numbness for i cant feel either the love or pain.The say time heals but the time spent in your memories is not healing but poisoning the wounds as the days tick by.....your smile,your feel your picture were in my every song and your words echoed in my dreams,yet you stood away from me.You made me hope,you made me dream,you made me think of you every breathing moment, you had become my reason to smile, yet there you stood knowing it all but still not deciphering the depths of my needs.

As the darkness engulfs over the night i think of you again but the series of hurt and pain soon follow,let me end it here and let me be free for i want to feel the lightness for a while, let the pleasantness drool over my aches and let me feel the freedom for now even my blood pleads for life, and let me gain the emancipation.I know that the step am taking is what people call cowardice,but let me take it as it gives me this immense sense of satisfaction, for at least you may miss me once with the soul of your heart.....

I see death,as i look down upon the tiny cars passing beneath, and how very strange, everything looks so small from here.....
I hear the low and meek sounds of the horns which are trying to make their way out.....
I feel the cool breeze gushing in through my hair,as if it has some secret to be told.....
I touch my hands as the prickness of death has left it numb.......
I look upon the starry sky as a shiver lets down my spine .........Is this death.....

Just a little push and and everything will end,the pain the aches,and the blissful feeling which have now become a burden so heavy and strong..........

I need just an internal push ,It could be damn very easy.........very easy if my soul stops searching for your memories again and if my inner voice stops fighting against myself....i could damn do it if your words stop echoing in my ears again right now........why am i hearing you again.........just a push.......

"Hey senorita,Love you always"

"Just one push and it will all end"

"I love you, I love you,I love you so much"

"You cant do this,for bloody hell this is your life,you cant stop it"

"Can i have the pleasure of a dance with you ma'am"

"Just a push"

"I promise I'll never leave you and will be with you in all your tough times"

"You cant end it like this he didn't deserve you,get on with your life,look for the dawn"

"I can do it,why am i not able to"

"Hey baby where's my kiss"

"You cant take your life,move back,search on for your happiness,your world is waiting for you"

"I cant think any more, just one step"

"I love you my senorita,and how about you"

"Move back"

"I think we will have to part from here,my parents don't approve of our relationship,hope you,understand.... and maybe whatever happened was just a bit of infatuation"

"Why am i feeling the pain again, just one step and it will all end"

"Move back, you cant, you wont"

Why am i feeling weak again, let me do it...........

The darkness soon engulfed my inside as i closed my eyes, all i can hear are the screeching horns again and i wonder whether the night is darker or my inside, was it because your voice triumphed over mine i did not know, for now i could not feel either the breeze, nor hear the horns nor could i hear your words nor did i have to speak to myself again.........

What was the secret that the wind whispered for i could not even feel the emancipation.